There is loads of information online and lots of organisations set up to help families going through divorce and separation. It is easy to become totally overwhelmed. Below are our top picks of where to start. If you want more information or cannot find the answer you are seeking, then please contact us and we will try to help.
NOT SURE IF YOU WANT TO SEPARATE?
Strangely, in all the information online, there’s not much about not getting divorced! To find support for this approach, we have to turn to America where Michele Weiner-Davis has made a career of the subject. She has written an excellent book ‘Divorce Busting’ and has a website full of ideas and support. www.divorcebusting.com.
The other obvious step to take is to contact Relate and talk things through. www.relate.org.uk. You don’t both have to attend a Relate meeting, they will see one person on their own. It is often very helpful to have counselling even if you choose to go ahead with a divorce or separation.
Advice Now http://www.advicenow.org.uk/ This website has some excellent booklets which are a great place to start. See below for downloads.
Resolution www.resolution.org.uk is the professional body of lawyers and mediators committed to a non-confrontational approach to solving family problems. They also have excellent information on their website and you can download one of their booklets below. They are also a good place to find a local solicitor who will work in a non-confrontational way to resolve the issues.
Wikivorce http://www.wikivorce.com/divorce/ claims to be the largest online divorce support community in the world and the site provides a wide range of free support including a Q&A forum, free guides, a free DIY divorce guide and free expert telephone advice. We have listed it third here because although it is very useful, it can threaten to overwhelm you. But excellent for digging deeper on specific issues.
CHILDREN AND CHILDREN'S ARRANGEMENTS
Sorting Out Separation www.sortingoutseparation.org.uk is a practical site that offers information on how to best support your children and work out arrangements for them.
Child Maintenance Options http://www.cmoptions.org/ is the ‘go to’ place to work out what child maintenance payments should be. There is an online calculator.
The Parenting Connection www.theparentconnection.org.uk is a fabulous site if you want some help on advice on getting it right for your children. They have a chat room where you can share your worries, and solutions, with others. They also have a fabulous online training programme that helps parents to learn to communicate with each other about their children and how to get things right for their children. The only downside about the site is that they point you towards National Family Mediation services to find a mediator and Abingdon Family Mediation is not one of their services!
SORTING OUT YOUR FINANCES
After downloading and reading the Advice Now guides, a good place to look is the government funded site Money Advice Service. Much of the information is the same but it goes into a little more detail in some areas. www.moneyadviceservice.org.uk/en/categories/divorce-and-separation
Here are links to some of the most useful booklets available on the sites above.