“It takes less than a second to fall in love.
It can take the same time to cause dramatic consequences to a child’s mind.”
These are the words of Herve G-Wery, author of a book that helps you to tell young children about separation. It’s called, ‘We Love You – No Matter What’, and it is a beautifully illustrated book that you fill in with your own information that tells your story. The story tells your children where they came from, where their parents met and how their parents welcomed them into the world. It explains how you as their parents decided to go your own separate ways and it explains that whilst you may not be a loving couple any more, you will be loving parents forever. Most importantly, it tells children that ‘we love you, no matter what.’
The book was written and beautifully illustrated following Herve’s own experience of telling his four year old daughter that he and her mother were separating. Herve believes that what makes us all happy is to be recognised and to feel significant as a person. He suggests that parents are vital in achieving these feelings of recognition and significance in children and his book is designed to help
You can see the book, page by page, here
And you can buy it here
Other good books for young children experiencing their parent’s divorce are, ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ by Jeannie Ransom. This is a delightful book in which a little girl who has just been told about her parent’s divorce expresses her emotions by pretending to be different animals. She wants to roar as loud as a lion so she can't hear their painful words, or turn into a fish and hide her tears in the sea, or even become a bird and fly away. Hazard warning – it may make you cry so read it before you show it to your children.
Also ‘Good-Bye Daddy!’ By Brigitte Weninger. This may be a little too sexist for the purists amongst you, but it does address the very real emotions that many children feel when they only see their Dad’s occasionally and gives an opportunity for you to discuss these feelings with your child.
What other books have you found helpful?
If you would like to talk together about how to tell your children about your separation, call me on 0770 6513496 or email me on firstname.lastname@example.org