This Q&A is part 1 of 3 articles that will cover the most commonly asked questions about divorce mediation.

Do you have other questions about divorce mediation? Send them in and we will ensure they are covered in a future post.

  1. Why should I consider divorce mediation?
  • Because it will cost you significantly less than going to a solicitor.
  • Because it is much less adversarial than resolving issues through your solicitor.
  • Because it is more likely to improve your communication than the legal process.
  • Because you decide and you retain control of the process.
  • Because it minimises conflict which is better for you and your children.
  • Because it works.
  1. Do I have to use divorce mediation?

No, mediation is a voluntary process and you both need to agree to mediate.

If you want to apply to the court, then it is compulsory to have attended a Mediation Information and Assessment (MIAM) meeting. This is a confidential meeting between you and a mediator in which the mediator explains the process and whether it might be appropriate in your circumstances.

The courts are trying to encourage more people into mediation and so although they do not insist on you mediating, they do insist on you coming in a finding out about it before you apply to the court. Abingdon Family Mediation offers MIAMs, please contact us for details.

  1. Is divorce mediation always appropriate?

Usually, but not always. You both have to be willing to mediate and it needs to be safe to do so. If in doubt, give  a call and we can discuss your options.

  1. How do I choose a divorce mediator?

Click here to read more about choosing a divorce mediator.

  1. Do I have to be in the same room as my ex?

 No, not necessarily. But mediations where couples are unable to sit in the same room together are less likely to be successful. Talk to your mediator about your concerns and the mediator can help you create a plan that works for you.

  1. How do I get my ex to agree to divorce mediation?

If possible, it is always better if you have spoken to your ex about your wish to mediate and to get their agreement to it. However Abingdon Family Mediation can contact them on your behalf and find out if they would be willing to mediate. The first stage in the process is a confidential, individual meeting between each of you on your own and the mediator. This gives you and your ex the opportunity to find out about mediation, have any questions answered and also to share with the mediator the background to the current issues and how you would each like to see them resolved.

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If you want to find out more about mediation, call us on 07706 513496 or email

Divorce Mediation