Here are some tips to help you to help your children
- Don’t bad mouth the other parent. If you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.
- Don't use your children to get back at each other.
- Don’t ask them to make decisions about where they live or how they spend their time between you. Take into account their views but make the decisions yourselves.
- Don’t use your children as messengers between you.
- Don’t assume they are coping well just because they are carrying on as normal. Look out for any warning signs or behaviour change.
- Don’t argue in front of your children.
- Do try to agree between you what you will say to your children so they hear the same from both of you.
- Do reassure them that it is not their fault and that you both love them.
- Do be as honest as appropriate about the situation and as clear as possible about future arrangements.
- Do offer them someone independent they can talk to about their feelings. (Often schools will be able to help.)
- Do all you can to allow the children to continue a good relationship with both parents, even if it hurts you to do so.
- Do look after yourself and keep yourself well, physically, emotionally and mentally.
- Do look to the long term. Don’t sweat the small stuff.
And most important of all, LOVE them, LOVE them, LOVE them.
Polly Gavins runs Abingdon Family Mediation, a mediation service that
aims to provide a practical and effective mediation process that is delivered with kindness, respect and understanding.
If you would like to book in a confidential one to one meeting, call Polly on 0770 651 3496 or email firstname.lastname@example.org.