There is loads of information online and lots of organisations set up to help families going through divorce and separation. It is easy to become totally overwhelmed. Below are our top picks of where to start. If you want more information or cannot find the answer you are seeking, then please contact us and we will try to help.

NOT SURE IF YOU WANT TO SEPARATE?

Strangely, in all the information online, there’s not much about not getting divorced! To find support for this approach, we have to turn to America where Michele Weiner-Davis has made a career of the subject. She has written an excellent book ‘Divorce Busting’ and has a website full of ideas and support. www.divorcebusting.com.

The other obvious step to take is to contact Relate and talk things through. www.relate.org.uk. You don’t both have to attend a Relate meeting, they will see one person on their own. It is often very helpful to have counselling even if you choose to go ahead with a divorce or separation.

GENERAL ADVICE

Advice Now http://www.advicenow.org.uk. This website has some excellent booklets which are a great place to start. See below for downloads.

Resolution www.resolution.org.uk is the professional body of lawyers and mediators committed to a non-confrontational approach to solving family problems. They also have excellent information on their website and they are a good place to find a local solicitor who will work in a non-confrontational way to resolve the issues.

Wikivorce http://www.wikivorce.com/divorce claims to be the largest online divorce support community in the world and the site provides a wide range of free support including a Q&A forum, free guides, a free DIY divorce guide and free expert telephone advice. We have listed it third here because although it is very useful, it can threaten to overwhelm you. But excellent for digging deeper on specific issues.

CHILDREN AND CHILDREN'S ARRANGEMENTS

Resolution have published an excellent booklet called Parenting through Separation, which can be downloaded from the bottom of this page. It is also available on their website https://resolution.org.uk/publications-books/parenting-through-separation

To work out how much child maintenance should be paid, you can use the child maintenance calculator, which you can find here https://www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance. There is additional information on child maintenance here https://www.gov.uk/child-maintenance-service/private-arrangement

SORTING OUT YOUR FINANCES

After downloading and reading the Advice Now guides, a good place to look is the government funded site Money Helper. Much of the information is the same but it goes into a little more detail in some areas https://www.moneyhelper.org.uk/en/family-and-care/divorce-and-separation

LINKS

Here are links to some of the most useful booklets available on the sites above.

Parenting through separation

Divorce or the dissolution of a civil partnership

Sorting out finances when getting divorced

Sorting out child arrangements

Cafcass parenting plan

Pensions on divorce

Living together and breaking up

Family mediation